Tips

On the first day of this pre-internship experience I distinctly remember facebook status-ing about the panic I felt over teaching second grade. They're so needy. I wont get to do anything because they are too young. I'll run out of energy If I have to teach these little guys forever.

Luckily for me, panicing is not always an indication of my actual fears. Here is what was really going on. They are so little. I feel out of control. I have to be here so early, what if I am late? What if I cant do it or realize halfway through that I don't even want to be a teacher anymore? ITS TOO LATE TO GET OUT!

Well, here we are, one month into it. The past weeks have been tumultuous and emotional, but there was a definite pattern that I observed. I'd wake up and head to High Springs, and during those 4 hours of teaching, I felt absolutely wonderful, controlled, and at peace. I'd go home and start to settle, and feel decent. Then I'd go to bed and feel overwhelmed to the point that I couldn't sleep. Apparently my life and my choices were the problem, not second grade! I didn't know what I wanted to do about grad school. My future was a big fat hand waiting to slap me in the face if I didn't make the right choice, so I thought.

And magically, it all began to fall into place. Well, much better than before. But mostly what is different is me. Sometimes you just have to learn to say So What If I Do (SWIID). So what if I do go to another place for grad school- (It's going to be fabulous, thats what). So what if I do drop my grad class- (It's worthless at this point). So what if I do exactly what I want for a while. SWIID baby. SWIID. Wow, "SWIID" sounds kind of foul as an acronym.

Anyway, onward and upward. Here is a breakdown of the kiddies in my class, by initials so that no identities are revealed (who knows what would happen if a parent googled their child's name and stumbled across this blog. I do- probably nothing. Nevertheless...)

TD- TD likes cats. He has 3 of his own and 6 strays. He melts down on the regular because he is bored in school and hates to learn. He is smart enough to do the work but his attitude is quite a challenge. He sasses us regularly. He told my co-teaching partner the other day "No offense Ms. Jameson, but I don't like any of your ideas. You guys say they are going to be fun, but they never are." However, we did share a special moment the other day when he asked me to come to his birthday party, and whether or not I would be able to identify his cats. I can remember some of the names. Mittens, Boots, Socks, Shirt, Mr. Meowie, and Bing, to name a few. Or to name most of them, actually.

KB- KB is a super star. She wears cowboy boots, has perfect blond hair, likes to fish and hunt, and sits next to TD because she is not phased by his meltdowns. She is one of the best students in the class and she- gasp- likes to learn.

JD- JD is a cute little boy who wears skate shoes. He always has this incredulous look on his face. We will refer to him forever more as JD the incredulous.

VB- VB was born in russia and lives now with adoptive parents. She knows a lot about science, probably because her dad is a lepidopterist and takes her to the lab every day after school. She has a lisp, she talks all the time, and has a weird frenemy in another student, which I will explain later. I'm sure you are just on the edge of your seat to know, but fret not. Good things happen to those who are patient.

AF- Please allow me to quote Mrs. Ross in describing AF:

"I know ya'll think AF is cute, and Lord knows I do. But she has been involved in a little mean-girl activity as of late, bullying the other girls. It's a source of contention in the classroom". AF IS LIKE 35 POUNDS. The class's resident "Mean Girl" weighs less than a sack of potatoes. Be afraid, second grade. Be afraid.

AC- Anyone who says teachers don't have favorites is a liar. AC is this adorable little boy with a round face and the widest eyes I have ever seen. He is extremely smart, but reads very VERY slowly. He goes to the bathroom all the time, and at the most hilarious moments. He volunteered to come up and do an activity in front of the class, and right as I was giving him directions he raises his hand and whisper-asks if he can use the restroom. Then he scurries away. It's adorable. We suspect giftedness, and not just because he's eccentric.

The Office is for Loving.

What I am doing: Watching The Office Season Five and organizing my 3 inch binder full of grad-class readings with post it notes. Now I know which readings are due which week, because they are color coded. And the Post-Its are recyclable.

Why I am doing it: Because The Office Season Five is awesome, and because I'd rather organize my readings than actually read them.

What I was doing: Watching The Proposal and loving on Ryan Reynolds.

What I will be doing: Wouldn't you like to know... creeper.

Ms. Delano learns/teaches about "mental notes"

There is nothing more... cathartic than to share a gripe session with 10 people who are living the exact same schedule as you with the exact same complaints. All anyone ever wants is to feel like what they feel and need is felt and needed by others. That is what I just had. Me and the other girls who are at High Springs unloaded our complaints to a poor, unsuspecting reading comprehension teacher who we literally just met tonight for the first time. She listened to us complain about supplies we were told to buy but didn't need, teachers who ask us to do so much but don't have the decency to answer our questions, assignments that will actually hurt us and not help us due to the fact that they require us to put aside valuable teaching time, and the fact that no one takes our complaints seriously. This woman listened and reached out.

And thats about all I wanted. Someone to look back at us when we complain instead of sending us somewhere else.

What I feel and need right now is a 30 dollar a week gas stipend, less nit-picky assignments so that I can fully enjoy teaching second grade, and a little respect. Though college students are notoriously lazy, when teachers say "I don't want to hear your complaints" (field advisor) it makes me feel like she knows exactly what they will be and wants to do nothing to help address those concerns.

In other news, I absolutely love my life. I know thats a strange segue, but that kind of sums me up right now: a ball of anxiety with a burning fierce love for what I am doing every day. I was nervous about second grade but now I can't imagine doing anything else. AFTER 1 WEEK. You know you've made the right career choice somewhere along the way when you wish that college would get off your back so you can get back to your unpaid laboring at an elementary school.

My supervising teacher, who will from here on out be referred as "GR", is exactly what I would have wanted if I knew what to ask for. She trusts us and wants us there. She let's us have free reign but has expectations of us. It is absolutely fabulous. I will try my very best not to tell laborious stories about how much I delight in each of the students, but sometimes I know I will want to because thats how I am wired.

Here is a story that needs to be shared. I've been sharing the bejesus out of it in fact but it's because it makes me feel something new and exciting... it was my first moment where teaching came absolutely natural and I didn't copy any one else's style.

It was the moment I taught the class about mental notes.

Back story: I am intimidated by children, adults, and just about everything. Yet, I also feel empowered when I get to lead children, adults, or just about anyone. I thrive on being in charge and in control... because I get to feel in control. And to me, the only thing more delightful than being out of control is being out of control (yet somehow maintaining just enough control to enjoy it).

So I am sitting in GR's rocking chair, killing 15 minutes before lunch. I decide to reach for the nearest book and read it aloud. The students complain to me, "Mrs. Delano we already read that one its about a tree and a play and a sheet and a boy and a thing..."

"Yes yes," I said. "But I want to read it TO you so that we can pay extra close attention to the CH sound and the SH sound. I want you to look for it."

"But what should we do when we hear it?" asks Elizabeth from the front row.

"Everytime you hear a sound, I want you to make a mental note."

"Whats a mental note?" Asks about 10 children in choppy uproar.

"A mental note means you do nothing, you SAY nothing... you just think! You think real hard and remember what you heard."

"Like THIS?" Asks Abigale as she balls up her fists and clenches her face.

"Just like that!" I responded, as the kids took off in silent mental noting.

And thats around the time that this blog became story time for Ms. Delano and her exploits in elementary education. Did I mention we learned about alliteration too today?