Need to Brew

The unthinkable has happened.

I no longer like my signature wimpy brand of coffee drink. I take one sip of the mocha abomination and I immediately crave anything else. It was so bad today that I actually had to make an excuse for the drink, to keep it from feeling ashamed- "maybe it's just reacting with my special brand of Crest for sensitive teeth".

Or maybe it just sucks, because its not real anything.

Time to brew my own coffee. It's happening. I wish it were happening right this second because I am exhausted. But I'm not, and I won't, because I don't feel like it. Partly because I am too tired to brew coffee (haha?) and partly because I don't know if there is any in the cabinet. And the past part...ly... is that Josh and I are playing soccer lately and I don't want that weight on my stomach.

The world cup semifinal between Netherlands/Holland/Deutchland-right?/The Dutch/Orange/NottheDanes and Uruguay. It's a good game so far- 1-1 score. I am thoroughly enjoying the world cup. And, ahhh, there it is... someone just got kicked in the face by "accident". I love the drama.

Having a good time with the new phone. Having a good time with chemistry. Having a decent time with work... mmmph, yep, I'll call it decent because it is I suppose. I am having a blast with Trueblood. At least my priorities are in order. 1. Phone. 2. Chemistry. 3. "mmmph-work". 4. Trueblood.

Picture: NC Carolina, Lake Lure, Last summer (2009). I want to go on a trip there again. Just saying.

And if...

Right now, what I feel like writing a book about is something pretty simple and partly autobiographical: A person who makes a list of his or her fears and shitty memories, determined to undo the damage that those fears and experiences have inflicted (*cue* Undo It by Carrie Underwood). It could be really cheesy and rigid, like a series of short stories almost. It could be really involved. I don't know. I just like the idea of a character actively trying to change themselves, while surrounded by other really vivid characters who sometimes fuel, sometimes inhibit, that change. It makes me think of how everyone wants to be different when they go to college, but some people are scared to admit just how they want their life to be different. People fear change. That would be my main characters number one fear. It's so broad that it can take on a lot of meanings for him/her while also being the theme of the book.

Don't be jeal.

What a terrible night.

What a terrible night tonight was, for a lot of reasons. I made almost no money (no one at my restaurant did). I closed the upstairs alone. It was just... unfortunate all around.

However, for more reasons, it was a good night. I am happy. I was able to stand around with my friends and watch fireworks from O.C.'s patio. I am loved and capable of loving others. I could have not been scheduled at all and made even less/spent money- so I am good there!

I just want to stay positive about everything. There are too many negative, oppressive attitudes in the work place and on the earth. I don't want to postpone my happiness by finding little things to be miserable over. NOW IS THE TIME FOR HAPPINESS!