Who are you? Who Who?

I quote the lyrics of a song by The Who in my title because, well, its an awesome song. The Who also happens to remind me of my childhood and riding back and forth in the car as a family to St. Augustine before we moved there. The Who was one of the only CD's my father could tolerate, along with Boston and Sade.

I read something the other day that got me thinking and sparked the little intro above... it was about things that define us and not losing our sense of self. I also read about how people do little things to remind themselves of.. themselves, so that when traumatic events happen in their lives they have a strong sense of self to fall back on. It makes me think of how after a bad breakup you begin trying to figure out how to separate yourself from the other person, unraveling the tightly weaved identity that your relationship offered you.

One fun way to do it is the ABC.. method. It's fairy easy to understand, but it also takes forever so I will only do 2 letters as an example and get back to it after I finish writing an essay.

A- Art. I wish I had as much time to dedicate to this as some of my friends do. I love to make things and I really felt like I had an artistic side back in high school. Thinking of painting and crocheting makes me think of high school and ceramics and photography... all wonderful memories that remind me of how I was when I was younger. I was never the most talented artist; when my mother taught my brother and I to crochet he was way better than I was! I was not a gifted ceramicist. I've made a few good paintings and scrapbooks in my day... so at least there is that.

B- Barbara. I chose my name because I had such issues with accepting it, and myself, as a child. I still do have the issues with my personality, but my name is okay with me now :) When I was young, as young as 5, I would beg my mother for a new name. I asked for my whole name to be "Brianna Bassing" spelled just like that. The funny thing about that name is that it was kind of similar to my own- Barbara/Brianna. However, I wanted to be anything else. I don't think it was because I disliked myself. It was more... I wanted to get lost in another identity. I loved to read and I adored characters. I wanted to be a new character every day. I decided on the nickname "Winnie" when I moved to st. augustine in third grade (now there's a story... that first day of third grade) because I wanted to be like Winnie from The Wonder Years. I finally took my own name back in 8th grade, and I don't regret that. It's exhausting trying to be someone else :)

C-.. to be Continued. haha