Saturday, March 23, 2013

Texas- 1 Month

Wow. I can't believe I have been in this place a month.


Just kidding. I can believe it. I have done a serious amount of sitting, eating, crying, and panicking. I feel like its evolved into something healthy. I no longer change my mind on careers every day. I cry when I'm sad and I laugh when I'm happy. I go to therapy and talk about awesome things like self-esteem and negativity ("Do you realize how negative the things you are saying sounds? Where does that negativity come from?") We discuss commitment ("How long have you been resisted commitment?") 

She wants me to write out the main differences between my family and Corey's family based on the month. Here's an important difference... no one is angry or bitter here. I keep expecting it to come, but it really just doesn't. 

I have been having trouble falling asleep as of late. My atrocious fall off the Weight Watchers wagon has left me bruised and unwell, perhaps that is a contributing factor. Alas, I cannot sleep and I don't care to force it. Instead I have been trying to map out my dream house as i lay there with my eyes close. It's an effective sedative; I usually pass out while debating the paint color of the foyer. Decision making sends me off running into an alternate reality. 

We drove around all afternoon looking at houses for Corey's dad and Nina to buy. It was a very scenic trip. Most of the houses were on Lake Eagle Mountain. The rolling hills made for a pretty tour of NW Fort Worth. I saw many large and aesthetically pleasing houses. They were the kind of house I would have envied as a child, the kind my parents could never afford. I imagine that these houses would be attainable for me and Corey down the road. However, I wonder if The House is as important as I once though it was. To young Barbara, spacious new homes on lush green lots were a beacon of stability, a promise of happiness. To 23 year old Barbara, spacious new homes on lush green lots represent a commitment to a city, a career, and a lifestyle. People who own the nice homes don't get to change their careers on a whim. They belong to a city. It's hard for me to imagine belonging to a city here in Texas. It's too new to consider, but it's never where I imagined I'd own a home. I know better than to assume than I can predict the future. Far too many variables stand in the way of seeing 2017.  I am certainly not ready to commit to a home any time soon- I'd need at least 5 years before that would even be an option. 

Why do I see myself in a different kind of home in a different kind of place, somewhere I've never even been? Maybe I'm not seeking stability at all. Maybe I'm seeking novelty. 



Monday, March 18, 2013

Texas something

Three interesting questions asked of me today:

How long have you had this fear of commitment?
Where does all this negativity come from?
And, my favorite,
What are some things about yourself you know to be true all of the time?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Texas 14

It's been a week since we last chatted about absolutely nothing, so I thought it was time to rekindle our fire. 

I had a very active weekend here in the heartland. We went to the rodeo and sat in the VIP section, which simply means we had access to a bar and more comfortable seats. No fresh earth was flung upon me this round, which suggests it was a better time than the first. We went with Corey's cousins and had a good time. It was the first day of rain I've had here. Apparently rain is a rarity; the locals lose all sense when the sky opens and forget how to drive. 

Today was the first day in a while I haven't gone out and explored. I made myself sleep in and relax. It was fantastic. I never want to go to work. The feelings of uselessness that marked my days in the beginning are no longer weighing on me. I enjoy having no where to go and no one to answer to. I love that every day this week I've considered different possibilities for my professional life. I've tried on several hats this week: Technical Writer, Travel Blogger, Web Page Designer. Today it was... Professional Sitter. I would make a career of sitting in a lounge chair in the backyard with a travel novel and a Stella.  I would develop a gradual tan for the first time in my adult life. I would finish my days with ice cream and HGTV. 

Right now I am reading "The Lost Girls". Three 28 year-old women quit their jobs and travel for a year. So far so good. It isn't spiritually driven like Eat, Pray, Love and it vacillates between POVs which makes it an interesting read. 

I woke up this morning feeling like I needed something. At first I was sure it was sugar, and I indulged in an Oatmeal Cream Pie while watching a Sex and the City marathon. When that failed to alleviate my unease, I went for a walk around the neighborhood. The conditions were perfect. It was windy, as it often is, but the sun was warm. there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I felt inspired to lay in the backyard, which is something you don't do much of in apartment complexes. I had forgotten what it feels like to have a backyard, to have a place to go where neighbors can't claim equal rights to your outdoor space. The yard was all mine today. And Katniss's. And "The Lost Girls". 

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. 

NYC 2009
Photo of the Day: 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Texas 7

Today I woke up, got a fancy Starbucks drink that I am not allowed to drink because its 9 points, and went to a movie alone. Boot-leg city bitch... boot...boot city bitch.

I then went to Belks, and tried on several well-fitting things, but purchased none because I am unemployed (applaud my restraint, please).

I got into a tiff with my UF advisor.

I found a half-priced used bookstore and bought some things there, because apparently it doesn't matter that I am unemployed (retract your applause). I am proud of some of my purchases, namely "On Writing Well", "Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul", and "Screenwriting". Sometimes I feel like my gift might be screenwriting and not novel writing, because I am visually inspired and I see my stories so clearly. I am witty and passionate. I could do both.

I applied for jobs as a technical writer for an hour and felt my blood pressure climb. The job descriptions are so... intimidating. Lauren insists that its all bs and that I am perfect for that type of job.
Why do I let these stupid descriptions scare me senseless? I read the description for the job I had at Prometric and laughed my tush off... anything can sound amazing if you know how to play it.

Now, I am going to buy lingerie offline, because, again, unemployment doesn't phase me.

Photo of the day: Hello, me.

Up Next: Texas 8.



Monday, March 4, 2013

Texas 6

Today I woke up late. "That moment when I look at my cell phone and feel instantly stressed"...

... despite having no where to be.

So anyway, I woke up at 11:30 and my anxiety was sky high all day. I looked for jobs and panicked about my life and wondered if I should have just went forward with nursing despite hating people's fluids and and....

I applied for jobs as a technical writer, and I feel good about that direction, though I don't plan on starting to work for a while. This would just be a job to get me financially going while I continue to question everything in my life. If I had it my way I wouldn't start working until around March 30. Realistically I probably wont be able to get a job by then anyway, since I am applying outside of my "field of expertise".

I just don't feel right today. A little sad. Not homesick, at least. I think the problem is I feel as though I have nothing to offer the professional world. That's silly, and I need to stop thinking that way and get my tush into a therapist's chair.

Today was also day 1 of my cooking "thing", where I "cook things". For my first creation, I made potato and spinach casserole. It's baking in the oven right now. I have high hopes for it.

Cool onion and garlic in olive oil or pam. Add salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and jalepeno until it becomes aromatic.

Add thinly sliced potatoes to the bottom of an 8 inch baking square pan. Put newly made onion-seasoning mix on top. Add 10 oz of drained, cooked spinach and 1/2 cup (or however much you want) of shredded cheese; preferably Monterey jack,  but I used sharp cheddar because I'm feeling dull (haha).

Add more thinly sliced potatoes on top of the cheese. Pour 2/3 of a cup of vegetable broth over the top and add the rest of the onion-seasoning concoction to the top. Cover with tinfoil and bake the situation for an hour. Uncover the foil and bake for 15 more minutes.

Voila!

Picture of the day: Me and Sterling in Jamaica.
Up Next: This is becoming laughable. I don't know what is up next.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Texas 5

::sigh::

That is what relief sounds like.

It might also sound like me pouring a glass of wine, sinking into a bubble bath, or nose-diving into my pillow.

BAI UF. For now...

Up Next: Lies. All lies.

Picture of the Day:

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Double Feature

I think that people have children because they are petrified of their lives and they feel absolutely purposeless. They plunge headfirst into this pre-made identity, abandoning their fears and insecurities at the welcome mat; they drop right on out, alongside the bloody placenta.

Motherhood does't exist to validate your existence. Don't have babies because you can't get your shit together and you are 16 and afraid. Have children because you are ready, you are stable, and you figured your shit out a few years ago through a wild and tumultuous youth. Have children because you are willing and able to spend your days pleasing them, helping them, and serving them. Have children because you want to be a stay-at-home mother or father and you believe there is truth to the testament that attachment parenting is the best way to raise a child. Have children because you work hard as fuck at a job that affords you the ability to give your child the best care possible. Have children because you want to provide people with broken parts and broken hearts the opportunity to be parents.

Don't have children out of fear. Your kids will grow up to be scared, because that shit is contagious.
Don't have children because you don't know who you are. They wont be able to tell you.
Most of all, don't have children because you think you have to. It may be your biological imperative to procreate, but biological imperatives do not pay the bills or offer tenderness in the middle of the night when your child is colicky.

And if you do have kids before you are ready, learn how to make sacrifices.


Friday, March 1, 2013

Texas 4

You need to believe in yourself. No one is going to do it for you. 

I have been reflecting on how exhausting it is to need everyone to support you. Why can't you and maybe your significant other make a life without everyone being... involved? Why does everyone get an opinion on everything? I know you can't stop people from having opinions. However, I don't have to accept your opinion and I certainly don't have to regard it as fact. If someone ever asks me "may I give my opinion" I want to say "NO YOU MAY NOT" and move on with my day. Is that okay? May I say no you may not?  

Today I went to Walmart and cleaned my room. Now I'm going to drink Bacardi and Diets until I just don't feel like it anymore. 

Thanks. 

Up next: Maybe I will finally do Tour of my Homes tomorrow... San Rafael. This one is going to take a hot minute to compile.

Photo of the Day:


Thursday, February 28, 2013

Texas 3

The SS Good Feelings has docked and I am feeling wildly uncomfortable and irritable. Perhaps it was because of the 2 hours I spent driving around the FW Dallas Metropolis trying to find this job interview that turned out to be a dud. A dud because the place smelled like urine, and the job was teaching 4 year olds. WHY DID I EVEN SHOW UP?

Because I have a pathological need to be wanted, and I thought "hey, maybe". MAYBE NOT. Maybe never. Lesson learned for the 15th time. Hey, at least I learned it BEFORE accepting the job. Remind me why I went to this interview again? Maybe because it feels so good to say "no".



Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Texas 2

This is fun. Since I happen to be on a journey of self discovery, my assignment for today was appropriate. I was required to take a Meyers-Briggs Inventory for a UF online class and here is my personality profile:

YOU ARE EXTRAVERTED INTUITIVE. 



With Extraverted Intuitive personality types, words, ideas and possibilities spew effortlessly from them. Words are their best friends. They dance around ideas, the more, the merrier. Imaginative, spontaneous, original and enthusiastic, they have a knack for seeing other possibilities, other dreams and options. The world is never as it is but as it could be, as if it were but an artists sketch begging for colour. They initiate change and often are prone to trespassing a few known boundaries to take themselves and others where no one has been before. The status quo tends to lack inspiration.
When inspired, they are fearless and tireless. Their energy will know no limits unless red tape takes over. Routine drags them down. Their faith in possibilities and belief in the benefit of change often inspire others to follow. They are challenging, ingenious and innovative. They will give their best to what appears to be an impossible challenge, a place unknown to man or beast.
They use metaphors, stories, images and analogies to make their point.They love theories and often shape their own. They see patterns emerging. Keen improvisers, they are rarely caught off guard, there is always some thing up their sleeve. The sky is the only limit.
They are sometimes entertainers, artists or otherwise engaged in public demonstrations that allow their ideas to bloom. Their greatest difficulty is not in initiating projects but in choosing among so many possibilities, setting realistic boundaries, establishing priorities and correctly assessing resources.


ENFP: Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. 


More interesting, here is the opposite personality profile of me: 

Introverted Sensing personality types are dependable, reliable and trustworthy. NOT ME! They like to belong to solid organisations that are reasonable in their ambitions and loyal to their employees I DONT WANT TO BELONG TO ANYTHING. They feel useful when their roles and responsibilities are clearly established and they can monitor their activities and productivity in tangible ways LIKE NUMBERS AND SHIT?. They tend to be rather modest, traditional and conventional, to like sensible clothing SEE: CRUISE PICTURES 2013, to be thrifty, careful and wise with both money and possessions HOARDING MCHOARDERSHITZ.
Once they accept a project, they will see it to the end. They manage their time well and are realistic about how much time and resources will be needed AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
They tend to like to stay in one neighbourhood EEEEH, WRONG, often choosing to live close to where they were themselves raised NEAR A METH LAB. They are often involved with volunteer organisations and have a developed sense of citizenship and accountability. When they purchase something, it is after careful consideration; rarely will they buy something without having a known need or use for it THAT SOUNDS AWFUL. They may keep possessions for a lifetime and treasure those that were given to them OR THROW THINGS AWAY IN A FIT OF ANGER ONCE A MONTH OR SO. 
They tend to have a good memory for specific facts that are necessary in their day-to-day life at work and at home. They accumulate facts and details to orient themselves, relying on repeated experiences that have been proven trustworthy I'LL ALLOW IT. A fact once experienced may be the product of circumstance and happenstance; it is not in and of itself reliable FILTHY LIES. When an introverted sensing type hears an idea, they rummage through reams of archived facts to find an experience that provides information for the relevance and realism of an idea. When an introverted sensing type utters, "It's never been done!" they are saying that no information about the relevance or usefulness of the idea is available to them. They tend to shy away from surprises and what is perceived as unnecessary change HOW UTTERLY BORING.



Photo of the day:

Up next: Whatever I want, gosh.  

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Texas 1

30 Days of rest starts today.

It's 11:37 am. I'm in my new (temporary) home in Texas. We will be at Corey's dad's until August. It's such a cozy house. Katniss greeted me last night with the enthusiasm I expected. It still warms my hear to see her. There is no love like the love one feels for a dog.

Tyler and I decided to make the drive in one fell swoop. I was glad not to have to bother with a hotel. He was wonderful and did a lot of the driving. I made myself close my eyes and listen to my iPod. Really, truly listen- something I haven't done in a very long time. Death Cab for Cutie aided my mediation. I found myself repeating the following phrase- "Allow yourself to listen". I am so vigilant when Corey drives. I would never close my eyes. I barely trust any other drivers at all. The drive to Texas was mostly free of traffic, so I didn't feel the usual car-induced tension that prohibits me from relaxing.

So I listened to my music and closed my eyes and let it wash over me, let it wash away my sanity (Hilary Duff reference?)

Today I plan to catch up on homework, be with my boyfriend, and work on my novel. I helped Mindy pick out shoes on the internet and needled her to go get her hair professionally "relaxed" because change is fun and I already changed my own hair once this week. There is a possibility of Pizza Rolls in my immediate future. Nourish the body, nourish the soul.

That's it. That is absolutely it.

Up Next: An Update of Tour of My Homes. Which place will it be next??!! (Chronologically, there's only one answer to this question).

Photo of the Day: I thought this one would be appropriate, a way to pay homage to my move.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

To DFW... and beyond!

I've been working on taming my raw emotions, not letting things that are minor overwhelm me to the point of rage and tears.


However, I put that practice on hold today when the American Airlines Check In Lady Person told me that Katniss's crate was not going to be accepted for flight. I purchased it because it is IAHA certified... supposedly. She informed me in her hostile english accent that it needed to have a different latching system. I usually greet situations like this with anger, but all that I could produce was a muted sob, though it didn't stay muted for long. I rolled Katniss and my carry-on baggage over to the waiting area, filling out the sticker the woman gave me in a feeble attempt to provide me with hope ("for when you buy a new crate, fill it out now so you're ready").

Luckily, the morning's events allowed for just such a solution. My sister was supposed to ride with me to the airport and take my car for the weekend. I was going to pick her up at 8 am, but I texted her and changed it to 8:30 because I was running behind. When I arrived at her dorm at 8:20 I called a few times. Nothing. I texted. Nothing. I creepily paced up and down the outside of her dormitory hallway. Stalkerish. I asked a girl to let me in. She uncomfortably told me she didn't have access to that dorm. I didn't want to be too late to the airport, so I called Tyler who of course saved my day. He took me to the airport and dropped me off with a smile and a wave. Bye Tyler!

Just kidding. Not bye Tyler. More like "HI TYLER THEY WONT TAKE KATNISSESS CRATE I NEED A NEW CRATE BUT I DONT HAVE ANY :HICCUP: MONEY :HICCUP: SHE SAID YOU CAN GO TO WALMART..." And thus began Tyler's search for the crate. I directed him to Petsmart, where a very friendly salesperson helped him purchase and assemble the crate. This was not her first rodeo with distressed airline patrons. They recently changed the policy about crates. Joyous.

So like a white knight, Tyler delivered a masterfully assembled bolted crate and Katniss, like a chocolate knight, hopped in and happily panted. That's my girl!

I now rest in the terminal, waiting for a flight that is scheduled to board at 2:10. I have all the entertainment I could ever want: Computer, Kindle, Phone, Book, Notebook.

I met a few nice people while I was sobbing earlier. Two small children fearlessly stuck their hands in Katniss's crate (one of them was in kindergarten :)) and they informed me that they had never seen a more beautiful dog and that "they would never forget Corey" (because they misunderstood me when I said I was going to SEE a person named Corey, not bringing Corey). It's probably for the best that the name Katniss prompted blank stares from the children... they are too young for Hunger Games. Most of the staff I encountered was friendly, and people wanted to help me. It was a very pleasant morning, other then the absolute chaos.

I hope that was the most exciting part of the departure. I cannot wait to be greeted by the love of my life in just a few hours.

Peace and Blessings.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Have Yourself...

This christmas break was unique for me. For the first time since high school, I don't have someone home with me for the holidays. No anchor for me! Ha...ha. Instead, my love is off in Texas being a man and working at a new job so that we can afford our life. That leaves me here to spend time with my family and friends alone, which must just be a blessing because I don't know what the future holds after my move to Fort Worth in March. Lauren has been with me on and off for three days... the best present I could have ever received! We have such a fantastic time together, probably because we are both angsty pseudo-authors with task completion issues. I look forward to our trip to the Mediterranean sometime in the next year or two (Please! Please! Please!) We have been dreaming of a trip to Greece since we started college. Which was 6 years ago. Sweet baby gator that was a long time ago. WE EARNED THIS. 

Speaking of earning, my brother and sister-in-law bought me the most appropriate present I could have asked for... a magnet that reads "I drink coffee because I need it, and wine because I deserve it". 

AMIRITE?

This morning I sat on the porch (oh how I've missed porches) and read my Kindle. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas morning...
Though I wouldn't have objected just one hug from my boyfriend. If life goes according to plan, I'll collect said hug on January 17 :)

I know I really only have one reader, who will adamantly protest what I am about to say, but when it comes to the holidays, St. Augustine is the place to be. 






Saturday, August 11, 2012

Analogies

Medicine: seasons:: Teaching: Oc whites.

Phone blogging

Let the record show that I have promised Tour of My Homes, Home 2 for release next week...ish. Not. Having Internet is cramping my literary style!!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Tour of (my) Homes Part 1

1. 382 Blue Bayou DriveKissimmee, FL
  


  When I graduated high school I was fully confident in one thing: I was going to college. What that would look like or how I would pay for it aside, I could never turn away from the one thing that provided me with comfort, that cushioned the many falls I had taken in my personal life. School saved me countless times, and for that I felt I owed the institution some cosmic debt. I knew it was a serious love-affair when at the end of fourth grade, I cried for hours beneath a tree at Children's Village After School Care alone, while my peers engaged in celebratory last-day-of-school play. It was more than sadness I felt as I curled up in a ball at the foot of that tree. It was pure sorrow, bordering on anguish. I thought of the next three months of my life without the respite of school, and for reasons I was far too young to understand, I felt tense and fearful. I didn't want to be Home, the way everyone else seemed to. I didn't want fourth grade (or any other) to end.
      I was born to a house I never really saw, as my parents moved quickly after my arrival. I'm sure it was ranch-style and just...fine. Cape Canaveral is like any other coastal Florida town, with the exception of the Kennedy Space Center. I can only assume that at the moment of my birth, hundreds of shuttles were launched out of respect for my imminent importance. I will settle for just one launch, but I like to believe there were several.
     382 Blue Bayou Drive is the place where my first memories call home. It feels right to first note that this house, unlike any other on the block, lacked a pool. Everyone on Blue Bayou Drive had identical cookie-cutter two-story homes, with kidney bean shaped pools and generous screened porches. Though our house was identical to the rest, it lacked these backyard assets. No pool, no porch. We had a small slab of unadorned cement outside our sliding glass back door, and I would lay down towels in summer and roast like a pig in the relentless heat. I suited up for the occasion in my polyester best. When it got too hot to handle, I'd trot to the side yard and hose myself off. Lay. Rinse. Repeat. I could celebrate summer like no other. No pool necessary.
      Blue Bayou was a long horseshoe-shaped street. There was a "lake" inside the horseshoe. I always marveled at the randomness of this body of water, fed by no stream or river. It was just a blue dot on a map, and I wondered how it was possible. I knew nothing of artificial bodies of water, retention ponds, or neighborhood drainage needs. All I knew was that there was a lake, I liked to look at it, and ducks loved to breed there and have little ducklings that waddled to our cement slab every time I laid down there. As it turns out, ducklings love white Wonderbread, and we had plenty of that to share.
      Our next door neighbors on either side were foreign. To our right lived a filipino family with first names all beginning with the letter J. When I was a little older and their daughter Jessica and I became friends, I used to marvel at the monogrammed towels in their bathroom. How did they find those?
To our left was a rental home, exactly like ours in every way- but cleaner and shinier. Every summer the house was occupied, and in my acute powers of observation, I eventually noticed it was the same people each year. The family was from England and they had the coolest accents of all the accents. It's easy to see why we didn't catch on to their repeat visits earlier, as the oldest child in the family gave us a different name every summer. The first summer, his name was Christopher. The second, Paul. The third, Matthew. My brother and I thought it funny that they were always a family of four from England, but we shrugged our shoulders and chalked it up to coincidence. There was always a daughter named Holly. By the third summer, we were old enough to really "hang-out" and we laughed at their trickery together. We rode bikes and played with our Skip-Its. I accidentally invited myself on one of their day-trips to Universal Studios. Though we only lived 15 minutes away, I had never been. They were sympathetic to my disclosure of this fact, and they buckled me into their rental Lexus and took me along for the ride. I wonder now if my park admittance was cheap, as I was only five years old.
      Blue Bayou had four bedrooms, three of which were mine at one point or another. The master always belonged to my parents, naturally. My brother and I shifted rooms every few months, in an ongoing musical-chair like pattern. We started off in a room together, which was by far my favorite arrangement. On Saturday mornings he would peek down from the top bunk to see if I was awake. I always was. He'd eagerly flip on the TV and we'd watch all of the shows that young adults my age now pine for. Pete and Pete. Global GUTS! Legends of the Hidden Temple. The best of these shows will always be, with an off-putting rating of Y-7, Goosebumps. I don't think I need to put into detail what makes R.L. Stine's Goosebumps so enticing for young children- but if I did, I would use the word "gore". My brother and I would later race through Goosebumps books to see who could finish first. I would always win, but he would always fight it. I'd settle for a tie.
      The second room was not a room I'd call my own. I slept in my grandmothers room with her, in a large queen-sized bed. The room was decorated with crosses and flowers, the only two things old people seem to enjoy. I didn't understand why back then, but it makes a little more sense now. She'd sleep on top of her covers, and I'd burrow under the blanket. Never the sheets, always just the blanket. Sheets were too much of a commitment. My brother had his own room for a little while, and the third upstairs bedroom belonged to my "Uncle", who was really just a family friend. I wondered, bitterly, why my brother got his own room, until I learned that my mother was expecting a baby. It all made sense then. My brother would either share his room with an infant or be exiled to the couch, and my new sibling would reign victoriously either way. As it turned out, Connie was an epic hot-mess of a child and my "Uncle" would soon overdose on heroin. Somehow or another, we all ended up with our own rooms. Nana stayed put with her florals and trinkets, "Uncle's" (haunted) room became mine, and  Cliff's room remained the same. Meanwhile, Connie's room became the entire downstairs. No baby gate or normal door could contain her, only solid wood, homemade, floor-to-ceiling gates with steel latches (on the OUTSIDE) in every door frame. My brother's best friend Jeff fondly referred to her as "that velociraptor thing that lived in the living room". I had to look up velociraptor in the encyclopedia, but I didn't argue when I found the definition. Connie was one Pepsi away from taking flight.
      The passing of my Nana, the almost-exodus of my mother to a life with twenty-something Rudy, and a few more GeoWorld pay dates for my father later, we up and left the town of Kissimmee, our ghosts, and our industrial-strenghth homemade baby-doors behind. I was looking forward to shopping at a Publix where English was spoken, as I was only 7 and it was difficult to role my R's with a horrific overbite. Also, my mother promised me that we'd get a real Christmas tree if we lived in St. Augustine. I submitted graciously to the move.

Coming Next week: St. Augustine.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

False Alarms

False Alarms
By: Barbara Delano


My life is full of false alarms
Close calls, Almosts, Maybes
We'll sees. 


Later, Sometime
Probable Eventualities.


Postponing tomorrow 'til Tuesday
Goodbyes impossible
Greetings with ease. 


Nothing enough, fearing too much
A rook with no move
A lead with no luck


Myself most especially, 
no one is pleased. 




Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What ended up happening on spring break 2k12

Things I did during spring break 2k12:
1. Saved money
2. Took 3 full days off from EVERYTHING.
3. At a fair amount of Yobe, and always impulsively. Corey and I would hop out of bed where we were watching t.v. at 9 pm to wildly pursue Fro-Yo, with absolutely no prior planning.
4. Watched a lot of t.v., at all hours of the day. 30 Rock most especially, as it plays in our house at all times to ease Katniss's anxiety about not constantly being the center of attention. We're sorry.
5. Worked out so much that I felt both exhausted and energized.
6. Spray tan.
7. Real tan.
8. Decided I need a substantial break from commuting. Why is everything I need to do always an hour a way from wherever I am?

Friday, March 9, 2012

Spring Break 2k12

Day one:

1. Rise at 9:00 to my sweet. First words he spoke to me: "Why didn't you sleep on your pillow"? My response: "Murhhhh"
2. Consider going outside to sit in the sun, but decide to play with Katniss and drink coffee instead. 30 Rock hums in the background.

I'm off to a strong start!
(taken 3 weeks ago)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

It's terrifying to want things.